Hips dont lie
by AidenKelly
Summary: Jane and Hawkeye are on a secret mission. But who's hunting who?
1. Hips don't lie

**This came from watching my favorite Tom Hiddleston video 5 times in a row. If you curious the video is Tom Hiddleston-hips don't lie by StraightEdgedChaos. Also, I realized after I posted chapter 2 of A Tale of two Asgardians that spell check tweaked my two commentors names. Fn2187gurl, chiafun, my bad.**

"Want to go on a mission?"

Jane Foster looked up in surprise at the question Hawkeye presented her. "Me?" She was flabbergasted. She wasn't a skilled assassin like Natasha, or great at hand to hand like Steve. She was just...Jane.

He gave her a boyish smile. It was adorable but scary. "You don't have too, but I thought it would be nice to get you out of the mansion for a while. You game?"

She tossed aside her book. "To be honest, I am starting to get a bit of cabin fever, so he'll yeah!"

His gaze swept over her. "Good. But first, we need to get you out of those clothes."

"Huh?"

* * *

He was honestly surprised when she had asked him out. Since their first interaction, things had been a little tense between the two of them. Still, they were at a club. That meant dancing. Wordlessly, he took her hand and led her out into the crush of humanity that filled the dance floor.

She moved automatically, not really enjoying herself. He quickly picked up on this. "You don't seem like your enjoying this. Close your eyes, give yourself over. Make me believe."

Her eyes blazing, she turned around, and presented him with her charming backside. She tossed her hair and began to move more naturally.

"There's a good girl."

Hawkeye and Scholar had been watching the pair for the better part of a half hour. Watching the pair was making her wonder if Hawkeye's idea of a well placed sniper shot wasn't the way to go. The woman threw her head back and laughed at whatever the man was whispering in her ear. It made Jane's blood boil.

"Well, Scholar. Your the brains of the team. What's your plan?" Hawkeye murmured, barely audible above the music.

Jane narrowed her eyes. It was her job to plan this extraction with minimal casualties. "I go left, you go right. We sandwich them in the middle, leave separately and regroup back at the mansion tomorrow morning."

He mulled this over. "It's pretty simple."

"Less chance for something to go wrong."

He agreed. "When do we go?"

She watched the man begin to move his hips suggestively. His mercurial gaze met hers. She felt her body tense at the seductive look on his face.

"Now."

* * *

Hawkeye struck first. He wrapped his arms around her waist and silently dragged her away. All the other club patrons were unaware of the silent abduction. her companion turned, only to come face to face with Jane. She tried her best to look intimidating, but was amazed at how tall he was.

"Well, that dress certainly looks stunning on you." He purred. Jane smoothed her hands self consciously over the silver and gold sequined dress. The man presented her with his wrists. "I'm yours."

* * *

The. Eat morning, Clint made his way into the kitchen , in search of a much needed cup of coffee. Jane was already there, nursing her second, while a separate cup sat steaming across from her. After his first few sips, he began to feel more normal. He glanced at her. "How's your new friend doing?"

"Sleeping quite soundly. Yours?"

"Same."

After a few more silent minutes, he sat back. "Your a good Agent, Scholar. I wouldn't mind working with you again."

Jane smiled at the compliment. "So, mission accomplished?" She held her coffee mug up.

"Mission accomplished." He touched his mug to hers.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the gym, Loki was throwing daggers at Clint's practice range. He only stopped when Natasha joined him.

"How did you sleep?" He asked politely.

"Like a baby. You?"

He grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Didn't really do much sleeping."

She laughed. "Good job. Mission accomplished."

He saluted her with his blade in response.


	2. Playing with the boys

**it's not mine. Life sucks. No the characters, not the actors, nothing.*sob***

* * *

When Loki returned to his room, he was expecting to find Jane still in a deep sleep. He was confused then to find his bed empty. _I don't understand._ He thought to himself. _Did I do something wrong?_ He couldn't stop the smile that crept across his face at the memory of their lovemaking. His lips on her neck, his fingertips trailing fire on the insides of her thighs. Despite her innocence, he had found her to be a very eager lover. Willing to give just as well as she received. Not finding any faults with his multiple performances, he shrugged it off as a Midgardian thing and went to shower, whistling the whole way.

* * *

Pepper found Tony in his office, frowning at his computer. "Is there something wrong with the Tower? She asked, kissing him on the top of his head.

"No. More like a problem **in** the Tower." He muttered, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Your making less sense then usual."

He pointed at the screen. "Late last night, Natasha left the building. With Loki. The only way that would happen is if one was in cuffs and the other in a body bag."

"Your right. That is unusual."

"A half hour later, Birdman left with the good doctor."

Now Pepper was equally puzzled. "I had no idea about those two, and I'm usually a good judge of attraction."

"It gets stranger, and I don't mean Stephen. An hour later, Katniss comes back, but with Nat. Not five minutes later, Loki shows up with Jane."

Pepper shrugged. "Maybe they met up and separated. Not everything is as complicated as you make it."

He held up a finger. "Then why did Jane sneak out of Loki's room this morning? The bird and bug isn't unusual, but they are."

Pepper could already see where he was going with this. "No Tony. What ever you do, keep...out...of...it."

he nodded absently. "Yeah yeah. Those who meddle in the affairs of dragons are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."

"He's a God Tony, not a dragon."

"I was taking about Natasha."

* * *

Later that day, Natasha walked into the kitchen to see Loki and Tony grinning like a pair of idiots.

"What are you two up too?"

Tony was the picture of innocence. "What makes you think we're up to something?"

"Your mouth is moving and Loki is smiling. Dead giveaways."

The boys exchanged a glance. "Should we tell her? She might rat on us."

Loki looked the assassin up and down. He was giving her a look meant to entice, but it only aggravated her. "She might be helpful. If she does, what can he do to us?"

"Who?"

"Fury."

She immediately knew what was up. "I'm in."

* * *

Fury rubbed his temples. The day had started off well until the Avengers showed up. First it had been 4 paternity tests confirming Tony's virility, then there had been a minor explosion in the lab. He had about five minutes peace before having to mediate an argument between Thor and Loki, who swore his hammer was bigger than his brothers. It had been a sledgehammer.

It wasn't even noon yet and Fury was already contemplating his liquor cabinet. He eyed his schedule. A couple of Senior agents who were planning to go over their expense reports with him. That wasn't that bad.

"Agent Mueller, do you care to explain the 500 dollar charge at Victoria Secret?"

The man's face turned red. He was a balding, overweight analyst who was vocal about his single status. "Sir, I have no idea what your talking about."

Fury nodded. "Alright, We'll chalk it up to a typo then. You can go."

As the very relieved man stood to go, he dropped his pen. As he bent to retrieve it, he heard a smothered shriek come from Fury. "Only on one condition. If you can explain why your wearing a red lace thong."

In their secret clubhouse, Tony glanced over at Natasha with fear in his eyes. "How...?"

The red head shrugged and examined her nails. "I'm good."

* * *

The second agent was struggling to explain how he wracked up multiple thousands of dollars that had been paid to a male escort service. Fury wasn't buying into the story.

Tony was rather pleased with his hacking skills where that one was concerned. He had launched into a long winded explanation when Loki hissed for him to be silent. His masterpiece was next.

Fury's office door burst open as Steve waltzed in, wearing a red evening gown and heavy makeup.

"Rogers! What the hell...?"

Steve didn't allow him to finish the question, but instead burst into song.

"I feel pretty,

Oh so pretty,

I feel pretty, and witty, and gay!"

Their laughter was so loud they didn't catch the rest of the performance. Wiping the tears from her face, Natasha turned to Loki.

"That was gold! God I hope Tony got a copy of that!"

The genius was still laughing too hard to answer so he just nodded vigorously. "I really hope your spell won't last long. The last thing I want to take into a fight is Cap in a sundress."

Loki's grin was evil. "Just for the rest of the day. Plus, everytime someone says his name, he will start singing again."

This answer set Tony off again.

* * *

A few hours later, the trio were toasting each others brilliance when Natasha sprang the trap. "Don't get me wrong Tony, this was fun, but tell us why you really want to talk to us."

He glanced at the other two. "What makes you think I wanted to get you two alone?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "Please. Your not as clever as you wish you were. Now tell us."

Tony dropped all pretense. "What are you two playing at with Clint and Jane?"

Nat crossed her arms. "Frankly, what me and Clint are up to is none of your business. Your not his father, nor mine."

He nodded, conceding the point. "True, but Jane is an employee of mine. What she does in my building IS my business. So spill."

Loki's eyes looked at Tony intently. "Jane has given up on Thor understanding her so I decided to try my luck. Multiple times."

Tony held up his hand. "First, eew. Second, how did that work out? She snuck out of your room the other morning and did the walk of shame back to hers. Since then, have you seen her? No. She's in her room hiding."

"Why should she be hiding? She's the consort of a God. She should be proud of wearing my mark on her flesh."

Nat figured it was a good time to insert herself into the conversation. "Loki, she's confused. Look at it from her point of view. She cared for Thor, only for him to abandon her. Then you ask me for my help convincing her of your feelings, which I gave. You bedded her. Probably."

Loki opened his mouth only for her to stop him. "I don't need to know. Trust me. Then when she wakes up, your gone, and haven't spoken to her since. She feels used."

He winced at her bluntness. "I think I understand. I need to speak to her. If you will excuse me."


End file.
